5ha5ha

Uncomfortable? Yes. It was.

5ha5ha
Uncomfortable?  Yes.  It was.

Just wait until it happens to you.  For those with small children.  Let me share, what they can do for you.  Yeah, this is real cute. 

There I was with my five year old, pulling some weeds and tending to the garden. A ditch runs along the garden. On the other side of ditch are my neighbors and there roommates. Very nice people. Single and bachelors and all of the stuff that goes with that. Every body is just chillin. and doing their thing. Mind you that everyone is in hearing distance of each other even with the running water in the ditch.

Nice. When out of nowhere, my kid, next to me, playing quietly in the plants... just blurts out as loud as can be, “Did you just fart?!”. I did not! I do not know where he even came up with this, and clearly I would never do such a thing right next to these good lookin’ young ex- military men hanging out with there friends! To my horror I replied “No! Andrew!”

He could sense the anxiety in my voice and realized that I had a weakness at that moment! And I knew that he was not going to have any mercy. He was going to have fun with this! With an evil grin he looked me right in eye and yelled “Yes you did!” and laughed hysterically.

This is so not cool. In a futile attempt to regain my dignity I said “Andrew! Stop it! Quit tellin’ stories!” and I gave him the stern eye. It did not phase him at all. He started running around the yard yelling “Mom you farted! You farted! Ha ha! Mom farted!” So that is the end of that. I used up all my MILF points with the neighbors.

So how was your weekend MG? 

MG:  Okay, a couple things here, first:

Secondly, I know how you feel Shash.  One lovely evening, before the fam and I entered a Mexican Restaurant for dinner, my 12 year old said loudly, "Mom Farted!"  The younger started laughing and loved it so much he was chanting it while we were being seated.  I was not impressed. 

Because I am an awesome Mom, I like to try dealing with these frustrations in constructive ways.  Please see below.

Keep "meditating" for up to 15 minutes. APPLE: http://apple.co/1Kb4x7N | ANDROID: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jasonheadley.hnestmeditation Get the book: http://bit.ly/1WnTWit

PM: Thank you so much for that MG!  I feel better now.  Especially because I know you.  And I know that you really did fart at the restaurant.

So before we leave, we have a quick quote from that chick, I think her name is RueDay....?  I hope so because I have a list of "Rue"s I like.  Such as Rupaul and Rue McClanahan.  Anyway, here are her two cents:

When you need to take a poo, just do it!
And when you need to do your duty, do it!
— Rue Day

PM: Okay then.  I think she is practicing for that job interview. 

And let me just see if this works in any way...

877 CASH NOW!

bitches!